A widower groping his way

Nothing serious to be done. Still smoking cigarettets in spite of slightly aching lungs and back. No plan for the future. No woman who will give me a sweet talk and a warm hug. Days, months, and years go by. And I get older. The only consolation I have is I do not live forever. This boring, meaningless, and stupid existence as a widower will be over sooner or later. I will forget about everything about this world and the world will forget about me. Every memory about me will be erased just like my wife was forgotten by people except me. The blessing of getting wiped from the surface of this stupid and tiring planet. Going into a big sleep from which I will never wake up again.

I thought my wife would be with me forever. Or at least beside me until I die. She just died. I am sitting in this office, looking at this monitor. I am bored. Am I supposed to spend the rest of my life in this stupid job? What is my life for? Does it have any climax, any epiphany? So stupid and why is my life so long when my wife's was that short. This is just unfair. I want to get out of this life. Stupid. Meaningless. Disgusting.

이제 남은 건 무엇인가? 나이는 오십. 이룬 것은 없고, 하루하루 진부한 생활을 반복하고 있다. 무얼 하면 되는가? 무엇을 해야 하는가?