What her death means to me
For as long as I can remember, even when I was a five-year-old kid, I was a pessimist. I always had a feeling of lethargy about my life or the human existence in general. I used to sit alone on a seesaw while other kids were playing together in the kindergarten school. I saw them and had a vague wonder that how they could be so cheerful. I was a gloomy kid. Living this life seemed to me a toil and making a child seemed to me, just like Flaubert thought, an act of cruelty. Heesun changed such thoughts inside of me. She turned my life into something simple and acceptable. I was just a man living with his woman and his kids. I was able to feel myself as a normal member of the society. I was one of them. Now that Heesun is gone, I see nothing that connects me to this world except my sons. I have a responsibility to them because I committed the cruelty of letting them into this world. That responsibility will be lessened when they can take care of themselves and find their spouses. I...