Life goes on and I am here.

Things changed and happened to me for the last two months. But I am still here caught in this planet of crazy monkeys.

Why am I still here when my wife died seven years ago and I am always feeling that I am in the wrong place and time? Because I have no direction in my life. Because I have no mission to accomplish in this life.

Whatever I do, I do it because of the law of inertia. I keep doing stupid and meaningless things in my life. I thought if I cut myself off from the outside world, I could find a meaning or a purpose in my life. I was wrong. As long as there is me, this thinking brain, in this world, the world will not be a different place. Unless I kill myself as an animal, a sick animal always thinking of, seeking a way out from this world, the world will be always the same.

Maybe, the world has no problem. Just like nature has no problem. Animals and plants are out there enjoying their existence, just accepting what the world is. They make no plans. They don't worry about what to do. They just exist.

I am the problem. This body and this thought and this feeling. They are the problem. If only I could erase this pain in the neck, this self, then the world will return its to normal state. The world where there is no ME.

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