Everything is crumbling down

Got a terrible cold. And as always, I still smoke. It is like I totally give up the instinct of self preservation. This life is crazy. 

While I was half asleep during the lunch hour, I remembered the time when I was making love to my wife. Her soft body. Her words. Her hands touching me. Things like that cannot come back. 

I feel so separate from her. So distant and so lonely. I feel myself as a man with no hope. 

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