It's still cold.
I tried to meet women because I missed intimacy, both physical and emotional. And I failed. Miserably.
I am messing up my life physically, mentally and financially. I am not self-sufficient as much as I thought about myself in the past.
I lost the sense of direction in my life. Where am I going with this disoriented life style? What is waiting for me ahead in the future? What kind of person will I change into? What kind of old man will I become? Will I even survive until I turn 60s or 70s? Do I even want to live that long as a loner? What is this world around me? Why did my life change into this barren desert?
What is the meaning of living like this? Can I just die and forget about everything? But even if I die, I won't feel better if I still remember everything.
I am messing up my life physically, mentally and financially. I am not self-sufficient as much as I thought about myself in the past.
I lost the sense of direction in my life. Where am I going with this disoriented life style? What is waiting for me ahead in the future? What kind of person will I change into? What kind of old man will I become? Will I even survive until I turn 60s or 70s? Do I even want to live that long as a loner? What is this world around me? Why did my life change into this barren desert?
What is the meaning of living like this? Can I just die and forget about everything? But even if I die, I won't feel better if I still remember everything.
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