I am still here breathing and living day by day

If I give more thoughts to my life, what happened to my life that changed it beyond recognition, I can't live anymore. But the routine of daily life is stronger than my misery. Heesun left me for good but I still live. 

I had a loving wife and my sons had a good mother. We lost her but we still live. Death is something ultimate that ends everything for a world that was familiar to us. But we still live as if something means anything to us. 

If I focus on what really happened, I have no reason to strive for. I should just close my eyes and wait for the moment that the death also comes to me. 

I am tired and sad. I see no reason for keep doing stuffs but I still stay here. I am lazy and blind. 



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