I can do it again
I was healthy in the summer of 2013.
I almost died in the summer of 2012 after my wife died in May of the same year. I lost weight down to 52 kilograms. I had difficultly in breathing due to excessive smoking. I had to stop smoking. So, I stopped. After a couple of months, I got better. I gained weight. I weighed more than 64 kilograms. My thighs and chests got bigger. I felt good physically, though inside I felt miserable all the same.
I met no people. I came from work and stayed home everyday doing the household chores. I was like a housewife and a husband in one body. I was lonely and thought about death all the time. My wife's death and my own death. Ironically, I was in a better shape when my thoughts were the darkest one and now I have more social life than in 2013 but my condition is the worst ever.
Maybe, a lifestyle of a hermit is the best one for my health. Maybe I should shut down the door to the outside world and stick to my own self like I did two years ago.
When I lived like the dead, I had more life in me. When I struggled to get a life, I lost my focus and lost my health. I lost myself.
I almost died in the summer of 2012 after my wife died in May of the same year. I lost weight down to 52 kilograms. I had difficultly in breathing due to excessive smoking. I had to stop smoking. So, I stopped. After a couple of months, I got better. I gained weight. I weighed more than 64 kilograms. My thighs and chests got bigger. I felt good physically, though inside I felt miserable all the same.
I met no people. I came from work and stayed home everyday doing the household chores. I was like a housewife and a husband in one body. I was lonely and thought about death all the time. My wife's death and my own death. Ironically, I was in a better shape when my thoughts were the darkest one and now I have more social life than in 2013 but my condition is the worst ever.
Maybe, a lifestyle of a hermit is the best one for my health. Maybe I should shut down the door to the outside world and stick to my own self like I did two years ago.
When I lived like the dead, I had more life in me. When I struggled to get a life, I lost my focus and lost my health. I lost myself.
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