One day in April

I smoke. I neglect my health. I say things stupid to people sometimes. My life is boring or maybe I am a boring person. Not much difference in that. I am sitting in the office. It is Friday. If I were still in the past, this would be a nice spring day. I would come home, hug my wife, have dinner with kids and wife, and I will make love to my wife. There is none of that in my life anymore. This evening, I will meet a woman of my age, a woman who is lonely and separated from her messy husband. We will have dinner and will go our separate ways. 

This life is getting more and more like a boring movie that I watched too many times. Even my pattern of deteriorating life style is getting similar to such movie. I almost died of smoking too much and now I am doing it again. 


Where am I headed living like this? What is going to happen?