Stay alone away from people

Here is an irony. I meet people and leave them, and I feel lonelier than I stay alone. I feel even more miserable because they have what I lost. Going back to home where a wife is waiting for you.

If I stay home alone, I feel just like the same that I have always felt since my wife died. Being alone like a dog. But, at least, there is no comparison with others.

People give an easy advice to widowers and widows that they should go out and meet people. Nowadays, I wonder if it is really a good advice.

Rather than coming home alone, after meeting people, and feeling even more miserable and lonely, maybe I should just learn to enjoy myself alone. Maybe that is better for me. Maybe that is the way I should stay until the end. Maybe I should ….