Something went wrong

Can't remember exactly when. Maybe four or five months. It all started with me resuming contact with people. I met friends. I drank. And I smoked.
My health got worse and worse. I lost myself at the same time. My own self who was alone and silent and stayed home. I talk to people more often than before but I got lonelier. Ironical.
Maybe because they remind me of the reality that they have ordinary life and I lead a life with no expectation. A life with no woman that I live and sleep together.
Maybe I should go back to my den and never get out again.

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