생각
희선은 꿈에도 나타나지 않는다. 나는 일상을 반복하고 있다. 이 인생이 감옥이라면 탈옥의 가능성은 없다. 세월이 빨리 흘러가기를 바란다. 순식간에 늙고, 그래서 빨리 이 세상을 떠나가기를 바란다.
Life goes on and I am here.
Things changed and happened to me for the last two months. But I am still here caught in this planet of crazy monkeys. Why am I still here when my wife died seven years ago and I am always feeling that I am in the wrong place and time? Because I have no direction in my life. Because I have no mission to accomplish in this life. Whatever I do, I do it because of the law of inertia. I keep doing stupid and meaningless things in my life. I thought if I cut myself off from the outside world, I could find a meaning or a purpose in my life. I was wrong. As long as there is me, this thinking brain, in this world, the world will not be a different place. Unless I kill myself as an animal, a sick animal always thinking of, seeking a way out from this world, the world will be always the same. Maybe, the world has no problem. Just like nature has no problem. Animals and plants are out there enjoying their existence, just accepting what the world is. They make no plans. They don't worry abo...
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