점심
사무실의 인간들하고 점심을 먹으러 갔다. 영화본 얘기, 자기 마누라 얘기, 나하고 아무 상관도 없는 얘기들. 나는 물리적으로는 이곳에 있지만, 나의 정신은 다른 곳에 있다. 인간들이 자신들의 작은 늪에서 자신들이 싸질러 놓은 오물속에서 뒹굴면서 사는 동안에, 나의 정신은 시베리아만큼 먼, 다른 공간에 있다.
Life goes on and I am here.
Things changed and happened to me for the last two months. But I am still here caught in this planet of crazy monkeys. Why am I still here when my wife died seven years ago and I am always feeling that I am in the wrong place and time? Because I have no direction in my life. Because I have no mission to accomplish in this life. Whatever I do, I do it because of the law of inertia. I keep doing stupid and meaningless things in my life. I thought if I cut myself off from the outside world, I could find a meaning or a purpose in my life. I was wrong. As long as there is me, this thinking brain, in this world, the world will not be a different place. Unless I kill myself as an animal, a sick animal always thinking of, seeking a way out from this world, the world will be always the same. Maybe, the world has no problem. Just like nature has no problem. Animals and plants are out there enjoying their existence, just accepting what the world is. They make no plans. They don't worry abo...
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