There is nothing to be done

Can I change my life? But another question comes to my mind immediately. Do I want to change? Do I want to do anything? Why can't I keep living like this? Doing nothing to change my life. Just doing household chores and make money at work that manages to feed me and my sons. No hope. No dream. Waiting for the death to come to my door. Yes. Why not?
Life fucked me. Maybe it was me who messed everything up in my life. And who cares? Nobody. I can just let things go their way and wait and see until my life is over. Why put another burden on myself, like trying to improve my life and etc? I have been through too many shits that killed my wife and almost killed me, too. Weren’t those enough for me to call it a day for good?
I don’t have to do anything. I don’t have to be anything. There is nothing that can force me to do or be anything. I just wait for things to end. I wait until this stupid farce is over.

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